We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
