Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I can't turn off my feet"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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