that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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