I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
