If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
