Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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