Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
