Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
