I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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