I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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