I wish I could punch you in the face.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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