I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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