I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
