Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
