can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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