Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you didnt know i had herpes?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
