I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
