Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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