Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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