her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize
