Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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