just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
