Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
