Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
its liver damage thursday
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
