Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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