So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
whose parrot is this?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
