so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
