It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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