I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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