Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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