Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I wish i was in the wii world.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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