So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
