Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
