I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
