end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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