If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Randomize
