oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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