CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
