we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
