hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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