the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
