I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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