Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
