Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he puts the penis in happiness.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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