im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
