if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
