belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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