so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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