Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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