bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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