We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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